My August Rush 2010.

Every single year I used to evaluate my life and see whether everything’s going fine as I expected before. I don’t know, it’s kinda one of my habit even though I’m not that typical so-well-prepared-human. No, I’m not. Maybe it’s better to call it as ‘muhasabah diri’. So when I finally turned 22 last July, I started to see my life one year behind and try to mapping my life ahead. Gosh, what did I miss? What did I achieve? What else I want to achieve?

Be a journalist in capital city of Indonesia, maybe it’s one of my dreams that finally came true. Even the salary is so much different with my friend who also works as a journalist in Malaysia who got RM2000 basic salary, but I enjoyed mine. But when my media decided turn to online media, many things changed. I don’t enjoy it anymore. I know my capacity and I felt worse day by day. My body just couldn’t take it anymore. Lately I became easily get sick and feel like I don’t have time for myself anymore. No. I correct it : I don’t have time for MY LIFE anymore.

I’ve been working for a year and never get chance to take a break—I mean holiday. Work is actually a way different from our college life, right? Ohh suddenly I miss my college life. Being a student and get holidays for a full month or even two—every semester. But I know everything’s changing. I’m not a student anymore. But now I realized, work is not my everything. I do need the salary but I don’t have to use my 24hours a day for working, right? I still wanna do anything else. There are many things I wanna do in my life before I die, but now I end up with not doing much.

I look around and see through my friends’ life. Some of them continue to pursue their study, in or outside the country. They prepared it so well and finally they enjoy being students again. Some people decided to take a break, before they enter the new phase of life called ‘working life’. Some people with fully spirit decided to apply jobs—as I did last year. Some people get married and have kids. So, what are you gonna do with your life, then?

So I decided to take a break. Yeah, I quit my previous job last August. When I told everyone that I quit for personal reasons, they seem just didn’t believe it. Some people told me that find a job in today’s era is like hell, and now I wanna quit my job? “Are you nuts?! Why?! Why don’t you wait until September so you can get THR (bonus Hari Raya) first?”, they asked me loudly. Yes, maybe I was insane but life is a process, right? Let me try mapping my life again and let me experience impacts from my decisions. I believe we all are grown up people.

And the impacts are.. I can finally experience Ramadhan in my house again. I finally start to cook again. I can finally continue reading comics again. I have time gather with my old fellas in a reunion. I have time to take a good care of my big bro who was hospitalized because of dengue fever. I have time to celebrate my Dad’s 50th birthday. Wheeew. Those were amazing!

In the same time (in August), I also apply for a new job which is Bisnis Indonesia. I didn’t tell my friends about this. Let me follow the process; let me experience test by test. Something across my mind and force me to ask myself : do you really wanna be a reporter again? After all that happened? You already knew both the good and the bad sides, don’t you? Aaarrrgghhhh! Then I just pray to God :

“Dear God, if You really want me to be a reporter again, just show me Your way. And if You can make it happen, then make it happen.”

And after the last test, God just loves me more and more. He let me do the test so calmly and with no expectations. I’m tired to expect whether I’ll be accepted or not. So I took a short trip to Jogja (and Semarang) to clean my brain and get refreshing! Wohooo! I can finally get holidays! But wait, please notice that I resigned from Jurnal Nasional BEFORE Bisnis Indonesia approves me as one of their employee, okay?

In the middle of my holiday, Bisnis called and told me that they approve me as one of their reporter. Oh God, Your Way is really unbelievable. So when I came back to Bogor, I felt so relieved cause I can finally get holidays BEFORE I start to work again. And I said to myself loudly : this month will be the most rushing month ever. This month could be My August Rush 2010. Last year also August Rush, where I have to attend my graduation in the beginning of my career in Jurnal Nasional. Everything seems so rushing that time. But Thank God, everything was doing fine.

So now, here I am, back to Jakarta and start to write news about economy–again. So now what? Are you happy now, dear Vega? Of course not. Humans are just simple creatures on earth who never and ever satisfy. But I guess now I’m not as ego as I am before. I wanna do simple things with no big expectations. I wanna live my life to the fullest. I still wanna continue learn driving a car. I wanna get a driving license. I wanna read those books which I already bought. I wanna gather more with my bestfriends. I wanna sing loudly in karaoke room. I wanna repair things and decorate my own room. I wanna travel more. I wanna improve my English. I wanna pursue my study. I wanna love myself more! Wohooo!!

But dear Vega, before that, now it’s time to find yourself a boyfriend and be prepare for a new plan. Ahahahahaha. Alhamdulillah. May God always be with us. I love you all.

[Bogor. 7 September 2010]

[01.04 AM]


About this entry